Untitled (I'm yelling, why can't you hear me)

I could be in a room with a thousand people but still be alone
I cry out to those who say they care but they blow me off, so I walk alone

I've lost all hope, I've lost my faith, I've got none left
I only hope that when tomorrow comes it will bring death to my pain

There's no love in my life, no love to be found
This act is starting to get real old

It's so cold when you're in bed alone
Wishing she was laying next to you, but she's not, it was just a dream

There's nobody there, nothing but darkness
No one to touch, no one to hug, no one to kiss

If you can't look forward to tomorrow what's the point of today
I want to leave all my pain behind

I'm going in circles, like a dog chasing its tail
Unfortunately circles never end and continue for forever more

The voices in my head are getting to loud to ignore
What did I do to deserve the hand that was dealt to me

Why cant you just let me be, leave me in peace
All this hatred and sorrow is turning me into a raging beast

I hate what I've become, if I could I would take all my shame to the grave
Or maybe it was the Devil's plan

A prayer I said as I laid in the hospital bed
How would it be if the doctors couldn't bring me back

Why did I survive, is there some divine plan that I don't know about
If so, why do I go to bed every night with my pillow soaking wet from tears

The pain is getting too much to handle
I'm on an emotional roller-coaster and can't take these ups and downs

There is no one to walk with me, so I guess it will just be me and my shadow

Something's Missing

Something is missing and I don't know how to fix it. As the seconds turn to minutes, as the minutes turn to hours, as the hours turn to days, and those days into weeks, the sweet taste of heaven is no longer with me. When it rains it truly pours, so where do I go from here? I'm holding on trying to breath, I'm aching, breaking, shaking and I don't know if I'll make it though the night, I'm fading fast. Not like this, it can't possibly be, you're gone and I'm to blame. With you I'd die happily, but without you what is there to live for? Nobody can help me but me, I did it to myself. I lost myself and it is breaking me down, I see all my dreams crumbling right before my eyes. Can anybody out there hear or see me, can you help me find my way? This isn't a silly phase or moment, I'm going down but I want to pick myself up, I just don't have the strength. If only for a moment, I wish someone could stop this train that we all call life. We're taught to live in the moment but we should honestly live for it. I can hear my moments calling me but I've drifted so far from them that I don't recognize their echo. Up or down, left or right, night or day, I've got to begin to see the light. I feel it drawing me in, but will my ship sink before I make it to shore? Will the life I know end as a faded picture, after all I painted the picture of pain and ruined my masterpiece. I use to be worth my weight in gold but now I'm nothing more than a feather. Hearts have been obliterated and who is to blame, now I have a better chance of parting the Red Sea. I use to walk on clouds while on the way to the moon and now I've hit rock bottom. I look myself and ask "why, can't you see". I want to come out of exile but where do I go from there? In an impossible situation what do we do to make it possible, what do I do with my love? I can put away all the pictures but I can't get rid of all my memories nor can I set my love aside. It hurts to hear my calls go unanswered but who am I expecting to answer? At the end of the day I truly am a poisonous antidote, I've poisoned something so pure and it's up to me to be the antidote to my toxin. I got a feeling the sun wont shine today but someday I'll look to the sky and see the light, but for now these black clouds wonder around me, so maybe tomorrow I'll find my way home. I miss you right now, I miss my something!